I realize my personality sucks - it has gotten me in a dead end career where I cry at work every job I've ever had.
I always expect things to go my way and even though I've become a committed Christian, I act like I'm in hell on a daily basis. Why do I insist on being this way. its no wonder I've never had a successful relationship or a job lasting longer than 2 years. Why can't I just STOP CRYING and be happy with what I have and move on? Instead of dwelling on what I don't have why can't I look at all the good things I have and be thankful and not a sourpuss that turns people off. I hate myself.
God I know I need you... I need to stop ignoring you at all times. And listen to what you're trying to tell me. Its pretty obvious what that is right now. You're making it obvious how much I need you and to stop relying on my wretched self to provide.... it always fails. God you ARE trying to speak to me through these channels. As much as it hurts, I need to listen and change my ways. Please lead me to someone that will help me change. Lord this is torture. I want so much to have a happy personality that makes people feel good. But I'm so impatient and critical. How do I change? How do I become more like YOU?
