1. The sun came back out today. The weatherman said it hasn't shown since Oct. 2. It was nice to see it again.
2. I got my butt in the exercise room again today. I missed yesterday but went the 2 days before that. My plan is to start slow (just riding the bike for approx. 30 min) and work up to an hour every day. I long so much to get that desire back that I had last year... the desire to exercise and to actually look forward to it. I'm trying not to focus on this being a "weight loss" thing, because I feel like my motivation will come and go if it were just for that. But exercise can help my mood, sleep, etc :)
Look forward to wanting to take pictures and have them taken of me again too. :)
Wednesday, October 14, 2009
Sunday, October 11, 2009
Its been awhile
Its been over a month since I posted here. I supposed for awhile there I didn't post because things were going pretty well for me..... I got a promotion and raise and full time benefits at work and a position with more responsibility. But slowly things went back to the norm..... gloomy, tired and no motivation to do anything or go anywhere except to work to get a paycheck.
I know I need to get my butt back to a doctor, this time one that can really work with me to get the correct medication in me. I hate that I am dependent on a pill to get through the day, but I've come to realize that this is probably the way it will be for a long time, if not forever.
Now that I have real medical insurance, i feel better about my chances at getting out of this dark tunnel that I just don't have the energy to climb out of.
I'm lonely but I tend to make sure that I'm alone a lot so why should I complain?
Finally decided to cut Brian out of my life, at least electronically. We haven't seen each other since we broke up. He's already dating someone else and it hurts to see him moving on while I'm still stuck in the same state I was in when we broke up, which was a big reason WHY we broke up. But I felt a huge lack of compassion coming from this man. Just plain "dont care". I just needed to cut that out of my life before it began to eat me alive. He probably will never realize just how much he hurt me with the things he's said to me. But he never will.
I will end this post here for now simply because there are so many thoughts running through my mind that it would take hours to put them here. I will go back to tuning the world out now.
I know I need to get my butt back to a doctor, this time one that can really work with me to get the correct medication in me. I hate that I am dependent on a pill to get through the day, but I've come to realize that this is probably the way it will be for a long time, if not forever.
Now that I have real medical insurance, i feel better about my chances at getting out of this dark tunnel that I just don't have the energy to climb out of.
I'm lonely but I tend to make sure that I'm alone a lot so why should I complain?
Finally decided to cut Brian out of my life, at least electronically. We haven't seen each other since we broke up. He's already dating someone else and it hurts to see him moving on while I'm still stuck in the same state I was in when we broke up, which was a big reason WHY we broke up. But I felt a huge lack of compassion coming from this man. Just plain "dont care". I just needed to cut that out of my life before it began to eat me alive. He probably will never realize just how much he hurt me with the things he's said to me. But he never will.
I will end this post here for now simply because there are so many thoughts running through my mind that it would take hours to put them here. I will go back to tuning the world out now.
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