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Showing posts with label Blue October. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Blue October. Show all posts

Sunday, August 23, 2009

Birthday....



This was me today. My family took me to The Cheesecake Factory for lunch. I was blowing out my non-existent candles. That cheesecake was rich! Overall I can't complain I guess. After lunch my brother in law looked at my car for me. Its been running bad lately. Then I basically chilled by myself and took a nap. Brian left while my car was being looked at. He did take me to see the Hangover last night. Funny movie. I'm finding more and more often when I have humor in my life things don't seem as bad. Its kinda sad though but I've been looking at sites like Lamebook, FailBlog and other funny sites and it keeps my mind occupied I suppose.
I keep thinking about a bit of the conversation at lunch today. I brought up the concert that Brian took me to... Blue October with special guest Switchfoot last weekend. Switchfoot is known for being sort of Christian in their lyrics. They're played on the Christian stations as well as the rock stations. I mentioned that they opened for Blue October. My dad was like what? I had to repeat myself a couple of times. "BLUE OCTOBER". He said, "Are they a Christian band?". I was like, "noooo". This is where I see some of the dysfunction and sadness with my family. My favorite band in the whole world, who has inspired me in so many ways... I can't even talk about with my parents because they don't lift up God. A lot of their music revolves around frustrations, sadness, depression and also rising above all that.
More than anything I wish MY dysfunction would just fade away so I can be like everyone else and feel like I can be myself around everyone.

Thursday, August 20, 2009

Picking Up Pieces

Words to "Picking Up Pieces" written by Justin Furstenfeld of Blue October

I really need to talk with you
I keep stepping on the vein
That keeps my lifeline flowing thru
I wanna be your perfect stick of glue
But I don’t feel perfect at all
Sad and insecure flaw

I find it hard to hold conversations
I get sweaty sick and I wanna walk away
Its not you its strictly me in this situation
But I’m wondering will it ever go away?…just go away

sometimes I feel like weeping
awaken when I’m sleeping
perfecting how to put a game face on

this puzzle I’ve been keeping
has been in hiding creeping out the closet door
spilling out onto the floor

How long will I be picking up pieces?
How long will I be picking up my heart?

Listen - I’ll be as honest as I feel
I’m getting more paranoid cause I’m hearing things
And they never turn out real
It feels like my heart is made of pure steel
It’s just so heavy all the time

I’m scared of death
I’m scared of living
I gave up on the past cause it’s unforgiving

I misplaced my trust
I watched my word begin to rust
I’m a balloon about to bust
I need a place for a living still

But sometimes I feel like weeping
awaken when I’m sleeping
perfecting how to put a game face on

this puzzle I’ve been keeping
has been in hiding, creeping out the closet door
spilling out onto the floor

How long will I be picking up pieces?
How long will I be picking up my heart?

How long (in another space and time)
Will I be picking up pieces in the corner of my mind
How long (its getting oh so hard to find)
Keep picking up pieces in the corner of my mind


But I still walk on